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Lost in Racine: Our Character Is Our Home
By Mary Beth Danielson, April 13, 2001

There are many ways to feel far from home. You can, literally, be hundreds or thousands of miles from the place where you grew up. Or the decades that separate you from your childhood have so changed the world that you feel detached from your native place.

Maybe, one day, you look around and discover that the people you count on don't trust or respect the adult you have become, and the knowledge makes you feel as if you are adrift in the world. There are so many ways to feel as one is living in exile.

Claudius Adebayo (Ah-day-bah-yo) is director at OIC, Opportunity Industrialization Center, a local agency that helps many folks improve their lives.

Claudius grew up in the Yoruba area of western Nigeria. If you know diddly-squat about west African mythology (I know exactly that amount, a diddly-squat's worth), you know that Yoruba culture is ancient, sophisticated and filled with art. Yoruba people are especially regarded for their brass work - you can see examples of it at museums that exhibit West African stuff. They've been creating beautiful metalwork for more than 1,000 years.

This is the Yoruba creation story. The way God got people into the world was to open the clouds in a place right over Ife, Nigeria. God set people on a rope, the people climbed down the rope to earth. This story makes Ife one of the holiest sites in Africa.

Claudius is from Ife. Yoruba political and spiritual leadership, it is claimed, is descended father to son from the first people down the rope ladder. That family still rules in Ife, and that is the family into which Claudius was born. Adebayo is Yoruba for "The crown meets with happiness."

Claudius explains that his extended family was very powerful in their part of Nigeria. But his father was a devout Christian and shunned the trappings of royal life, making a living instead as a carpenter.

"I remember the ceilings of our house. They were very high - 12 to 15 feet. And they were built of beautiful, light-hued wood. It might have been ebony before the wood aged into the dark color we think of. My father had built it.

"There were nine of us children, yet still, our home was filled with total peace and joy. We did not own many things, but there were always so many children around. Siblings, cousins, other kids in our neighborhood. No one had cars, we walked miles and miles every day to and from church, to and from school. You would think this was a hardship, but it was just the opposite. We were always together, kicking a soccer ball, running around, watching out for each other, stopping to greet people along our way.

"Americans think they are rich if they own many things. But their materialism dictates everything. People become so busy and anxious earning money, shopping, maintaining their possessions. They don't have eyes to see how poor their lives can be. Children live isolated from their families and communities.

"You would not believe how fun it was to be a kid in Nigeria! We were rich in relationships. People did not judge each other's value by what was owned, but by the way we were connected to each other. It was a whole different way of understanding one's place in the world. I love the great freedom and opportunities that exist in the United States but I miss the African way of living where people were so connected to each other.

"I went back to visit in 1991. I was walking down the street on which I grew up and there, high up in a neighbor's house, was a tiny broken window. My whole life rushed past me. I remembered the day, back in the 1950s, when the window was broken.

"I was playing soccer with friends. Someone kicked the ball too hard, it flew up and smashed that pane of glass. All the other kids ran, I stood rooted to the spot, shaking with fear. I slowly trudged up to the door to tell our neighbor what had happened and say how sorry I was.

"The man praised me for staying to apologize! He told my father that I was the only boy who stuck around to face the consequences. So then my father told me that he was proud of me! "

I think of that incident often. Those two adult men went out of their way, not to punish me, but to help me feel proud of being honest. I treasure how gently and surely adults worked to teach us to become people of strong moral character.

"As an adult I have lived many places. Big cities in Nigeria. London. Menomonie - I met my wife in Eau Claire! I have not lived in Nigeria in 25 years. How do I live well so far from my home?"

"Well there are the ordinary ways of staying connected. I have gone back a few times. I talk to relatives on the phone every few weeks. I cook African meals as often as time allows. My wife and I have three sons, I tell them stories about Africa and of their heritage almost every day.

"But probably, most importantly, is the truth in this old African saying. 'A lion cub can be miles from other lions, miles from home. But his royal character will never be away from him.'

"Our character is what is inside us. When we have lived widely and generously enough to know who we are, we are always at home. Years ago my mother would ask me, during phone conversations, 'When are you coming home?'

"And I would laugh and say, 'I am home!' "

Write to Mary Beth Danielson c/o The Journal Times, 212 Fourth St., Racine, WI 53403.